mmk.

Beth is absolutely convinced she acts her age(24), but I think not.

Yesterday,  when the bus pulled up, she was clapping and jumping and saying, “Bussie! Bussie!”   Of course, she was excited that her mother and Betty agreed to her living on her own. Personally, I think her mom agreed because she’s just a brat and used to getting whatever she fucking wants. Now, me, being the blunt person that I am, I do not put up with that crap. I told her so. What I said was, “You do not act your age.” and she got all whiney because I was saying stuff she didn’t like. Oh well.

If they wanna put her on her own, be my guest. Life has it’s ways of dealing with that shit.

The project on Hope was pretty interesting because we are just a mix up of different maturity levels. Some of these kids do not understand the concept.

Beth like absolutely redid her cousin’s funeral and Megan cried before she got started.

Those two, and some others weren’t ready to share stories. It was a bad project for the mixed maturities.

Now, you guys, I have created pseudonyms for everyone, like I said. My point is not to show superiority over others, but to share what being special needs actually is like and how it varies.  Obviously, I have my own opinions because I am human.

Cindy got all offended last night because I asked her to turn off the light so I could sleep. Those lights are bright and I’m one of those who needs absolute silence and darkness to sleep.

I went to ask the GA’s for a nightlight for her. And she just was really upset that I asked her to turn out the light for me. We got a plug in light for her and got it all figured out. but it just shocked me. I think she’s used to getting what she wants too, except Beth is on an entirely different level. There’s a new girl, Tacy, who follows me around like a puppy because I’m the first one who was kind to her. ACK!!! That, my friends, is irritating. Cindy did it too, and I said exactly that, to her face, and she took it badly. But now she is befriending the others. She likes Beth a lot, as far as I’ve seen. We’re back to getting along. Don’t worry.

It’s really tough to live here and deal with all this. I started taking walks every day for some me time and it totally helps. I listen to my own music, and walk like a mile, I think. I’m even loosing weight!

OOoooo…that’s another thing that’s bugging me about Beth. She wants to loose weight. She’s a fatty. Sorry, but she is. She wants to loose, but she can’t figure out that walking more then you normally do at a faster pace does it. I make a point of asking her specifically, every day, to come walking with me, but the answer is no. Once, I said something like, “Well, eating cheetos and sitting on your butt won’t do it.” She didn’t get upset, but just shrugged it off.

It’s so frustrating that she can see she’s fat, but can’t understand the concept of exercise.  I honestly really feel bad for her, and want to help, but I can’t do it because she hates me so much. She disrespects me and talks down to me. I hold no sway over her at all and it makes me really sad. I really do want to help her, but…she won’t listen to me. I can’t do anything.

I tried to be a mother the other day and speak softly to her when she was upset about not living on her own. The only reason that’s changed now is because she’s a brat and clearly her mother can’t take her complaining. She really loves her mother and father. She needs their approval. She doesn’t understand that being her own guardian means she doesn’t.  Attempting to be helpful, I said, “Beth….What do you think is the reason that your mother and Betty say you can’t live alone??” She just kept complaining so I got fed up and left.

Time to go!

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