got out

Yea! I got out.

I am now in the public library.

Why the hell did I wear a long sleeve shirt today?

I had another explosion. I think this one is not something to be bothered about, but Betty and the staff think differently.

Lindsey tracked me down and asked me to do my chore. I knew my chore and was in a bad mood. She wants it done before she leaves. I fail to see the reasoning behind that, other then she just wants to assert power over me. Of course, now it totally makes sense. It’s not hard and takes less then 5 minutes.

What pissed me off though, was that she tracked me down. -blink, blink- Have I not already proven that I do my work without prompting?

I take a breath, say “ok” and walk towards her. Like 10 seconds after I do, she says, “Never mind. I’m not gonna sign off if you’re gonna have that attitude.” I go back to what I was doing. Then she asks be back to the office. I’m boiling at this point.

I follow her to the office, and she begins to lecture me on getting my chore done. I start to yell. “Are you sure I’m the one yelling?” because I should have said “lecture” instead.

I did my chore. Then had to do it AGAIN, missed bowling the next night AND my exit date is now in early to mid December I’m assuming. Excuse me, but that seems harsh for just yelling for like 10 seconds.

Lindsey and I are just not compatible. After like 30 minutes to calm down, I ask if she’s there so I can apologize. Then I get another talk. From a GA I do get along with. I understood but she didn’t have to track me down. I do not appreciate that at all.

On Sunday, Lindsey returns and I apologize. All I get is an “Alright.”. I was toats expecting a mean and smug look, but nope. That whole thing goes in the log and Betty is informed. Betty has a talk with me and says that’s my second blow up this week and that apologizing is good but if I do it over and over it doesn’t mean anything. AND she goes on to say that I can’t yell at staff. So yeay. Things I already know. Then she says, “If people ask if you are ready for work yet, I’d say no.” Gee, thanks. ><That’s why I’m assuming that my date is now in December. Maybe January. -shrugs-

I’m HOPING that I can move in with Becky in Washington state. We talked about it. so it’s at least on her mind. I have three options: strike out alone(scary+$$), mom(maybe…) or Becky. I’m still thinking. Or I could go back to my hometown and be around my sisters. But they are not my friends. beh. I’m not good with options.

With Becky, I get a friend who is into what I’m into slightly, and will help me sew……..and that’s better then my sisters. We do not understand each other. They’ve always set themselves apart from me. -rolls eyes- Sad, but…that’s that. I’ve tried to get into the ‘club’, but never did it. It hurts deeply. I’m just not one of them. I don’t belong with them.  So maybe I belong with Becky. I bet that’s not right either. But my sisters and I don’t work, mom is just mom…so Becky may work. If not, I can always go back to mom.

I don’t know what else to put so til next time.

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