Well, lots of stuff has happened in the past 2 days. I have mixed emotions about it all.
I met a guy. Hmm…two weeks ago,he was wondering around the movies. I don’t know how it came about, but I gave him suggestions. He introduced himself. I said if you come back at this time, next week I will be here. Didn’t think anymore about it. But he certainly did.
Last Tuesday I was here doing my volunteering. He was here(the library). He wanted to read The Great Gatsby so we went around looking for it. Then my supervisor poked his head in. We were in the absolutely wrong section. They went to find it. He ended up checking out Phantom of the Opera, which I had suggested.Then he came back to the table where I sat folding brochures and handed me a note. As he was walking away, he motioned for me to open it.
It was his number with “Text me maybe.” Now, I think that’s incredibly cute. I’ve never gotten a number before. I was shocked. Like 10 minutes later, I texted him “hi” and he instantly apologized for not being charming right then. I think it’s cute. We’ve been texting ever since. I turned the conversation quite sexual. Obviously, not instantly. It happened after like 5 hours. It was so funny and cute how he reacted to it all!! Yes. Bad idea, Sarah. But it happened and I can’t do anything about it now.
First of all, I got super depressed and lonely. He asked what he could do to help. I came out with this really detailed romantic date and got teary. I apologized and he says it’s really sexy and sweet. I just crave romance, guys. I’m like crazy desperate. At first I said I wanted to be friends first and not rush, but now…I’m just like…..what??? Make up your mind, woman!!
Oh, He did tell me that he wanted to get me alone to ask for my number but didn’t get to. So he gave his. He also told me that the first time he saw me, he wanted to know me better. wooo….
And I have told people about this, and Crystal knows. Not about the texting, of course, but just a guy. Crystal is now going to come and meet him on Tuesday and be my ‘replacement mom’. Now, stupidly, the very first thing I tell him about myself is I have brain damage. Woo. Go Sarah. You’re an idiot. He seems really sweet. Through words at least. I’m a very trusting person. But I do hope he’s sweet for real. Plus I mean, I wasn’t thinking of him quite in the romantic way when we first met, so I’ll have to get another look. I do tend to go for the big guys though. Crystal knows that getting out to be with adults is what I want. I’m going seriously crazy being cooped up with all these way way more challenged people.
BUT I’ll be out of this program by Christmas. So yeay me! Me, my case manager, my DOHRS counselor and mom had a meeting about my progress. It’s called a Staffing. Mom was on speakerphone. She says I’m getting better in ways that I am totally unaware of. Apparently, this stupid program isn’t so useless. I scared myself shitless by thinking “What if” about every possible safety situation. So I was crying really hard and my case manager saw that, so we’ve now decided to do some major safety work on me. The staffing ended and he had to take me to his office to calm the fuck down. We were in there for about 15 minutes.
I volunteer at the mall which is like a 15 minute walk. On the way back, I lost my glasses. Why? because I wanted to put on my sunglasses and was listening to a Podcast so I didn’t hear anything. I folded them and put them in my jean pocket. Irresponsible. Thank you. I’m aware of that. I backtracked and asked the Lost and Found at Macy’s-where I entered the mall. They just vanished. I had no choice but to call mom and tell her. I felt terrible, because it was her birthday. So I’m stuck without correction until I go home and get my contacts. I’m near sighted so I can see what I’m typing.
I ordered a poster off of Amazon with a credit card!!!!! It was my pre-paid wal-mart card. So I should be getting a Lana Del Rey poster on the 6th. I was like slap happy. It was ridiculous.
We also had a little Halloween Party last night and honestly, it was really impressive. The decorations were amazing. and all their costumes were cute. It was family friendly. The staff brought their kids and it was actually pretty cute.
No alcohol and the music was beyond crap. I went in an empty hallway and sang and danced to my own stuff. Haha. On the very first two games of musical chairs, I won. But the staff told me this is more for them then me, so I didn’t win any more prizes. They were little 50 cent pieces of crap. But we all got to dig in the pots when everyone left. The party ended at like 8:30. I was like “…uhhhh….”.
I went for the cookies, but they turned out to be expired so I didn’t get one. This morning I found another box of them and it was a bit stale, but good.
I’m sure I’ll get some candies for my birthday anyway. It’s the 14th. If this guy remembers that, I will be like “I’m yours!” He’s just gotta impress Crystal. and then mom at some point.
I think I did well with this new guy. I mean, yes. Mistakes were made and I should leave my damage til later, but …I’m still doing great. He didn’t turn me away so…this may totally work. Just have to wait…see what Crystal and mom decide.
Oh. ALSO, I think my awesome orange jacket has been taken. Nobody’s seen it. It was Patagonia and it was my favorite!!T_T It’s gone though. Like 4 days ago, I went on a walk with a friend. I took it off bc it was hot. When I came back in, I didn’t pick it up. Dumb. When I looked for it, it wasn’t there. It’s my own fault but I need to grieve here. It’s been 2 days and hasn’t been seen.