why does rape have to be a secret?

DISCLAMER: When writing this I was in a passionate fury. I am not an expert on anything.

Before you freak out, yes. I have been raped three times. Not recently, so don’t freak out too much.

I just wanted to talk about this because I was listening to a Podcast the other day and couldn’t help but be frustrated. It was “Can Nailpolish Prevent Rape?” on Stuff Mom Never Told You.

I got frustrated because I feel that the blame and burden of this horrid occurrence is on the wrong person. WHY is it all in the victim’s hands to deal with this crime? She/he is not responsible. Deal with the one who is. It’s all well and good to know how and when to defend yourself but EVERYONE should have self control. Not just the victim. Deal with the one without that control. Geez. I mean, why isn’t this obvious???

It should not be all in the victims hands to deal with this.

WHY should I worry about what you are gonna do bc I’m wearing this or that?? Shouldn’t that be YOUR job??? I mean, hell. I have a loud and overpowering voice naturally. Just bc it’s my nature, means I shouldn’t control it? NO. Just because you wanna have sex with me then and there doesn’t mean you are ALLOWED to be stupid and do that. It’s the same damn thing.

Why is rape even allowed in the mind of the rapist?? Why is that ok? YOU should learn some control. YOU’RE the one who did the wrong thing. Why do I need to feel bad for “letting” it happen? YOU’RE the one who fucking “let” it happen. Not me. I did nothing. How dare you.

Deal with the ones who are responsible is what I say. Helping the victims is all well and good, defense is fantastic, but WHAT ABOUT THE ACTUAL PROBLEM??? It just frustrates me so much that all of it is in the victims hands when they did nothing wrong.

Here’s what I think should be done and feel free to disagree. I don’t care if you do or not.

We should not only protect ourselves and learn that it is wrong but PUT IT INTO HEADS AS SOON AS KIDS START SCHOOL. Yes, kindergarten and preschool. and keep talking about how wrong it is as they grow up so that they don’t turn into a rapist. KEEP teaching people that rape is not only bad, it’s the most horrible invasion of privacy ever. So that when they are adults, they will push the thought away before it becomes an action. ALSO keep telling children that if it DOES happen to you, don’t keep it a secret. Make it known that this has happened to you, so something can be done.

And because usually someone you know rapes you, TELL SOMEONE ELSE. God, How is this not obvious??? Jesus Christ, people.

I get it that some people are shy and embarrassed and whatnot, but there’s no option here. You MUST speak. That’s the ONLY way it will get taken care of in the correct way. If you don’t, it WILL keep happening.

What you allow is what will continue.

It’s not a hard concept. It’s just not.

I mean, hello??? Why do you think we have parents?? They’re there TO show us and teach us how things work.

When life fucks up, they’re there. Parents will always love their children. Always. If they don’t, then….I don’t know. They’re the ones that are screwed. -shrugs-

How do you think lions get so good at hunting?? Why do you think bears are protective of their cubs???

It’s everywhere in nature, people. Look around you. Why are wolves in packs? Why are sheep in herds, for that matter? How do trees grow so ginormous and strong?? Why are animals territorial??? Why do turtles have shells? Why are foxes so quick? How did eagles learn to fly and become the badasses of the sky????

I’m sorry for being an asshole, but I’m very passionate about this. I just don’t understand how…people don’t understand this. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

It’s like some people just need a good thwak on the head or punch in the face to get this concept. But it’s not a difficult concept.

Parents and friends and siblings are there to help you. You’re not on your own. Share things with them. Do you want protection from a bear??? Tell someone. It doesn’t even need to be a person who you even know really. They’ll turn protective as fuck. Do you want to learn how to hunt like a lion??? I trust you guys understand what I’m getting at here. ASK. TELL.

Why does rape have to be a secret??

Answer that question.

I dare you.

I apologize for being a complete asshole. I feel that sometimes, it’s necessary to be that way.

Damn. That’s a longass post. Oh, and the jacket that I was missing has been found. And tomorrow’s my birthday.

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