Let’s rethink…

Ok. So. I drown and had a horrible dad.

No, not that horrible. Lots of people have situations that are waaaaay worse. I don’t know any though.

But was dad really as terrible as I say he is?  My objective mind is telling me to rethink this now. Hmm….

bruce had a childhood that I can’t imagine. I do think he likes the demon in him, but I also think that he never had a person show him how to put that demon down and let the human come to light. His father was a corrupt man and his mother never stood up for anything. I really don’t think he has seen a good relationship and that’s the problem. He dishes out his money to us, but doesn’t know that there’s more to love then money. He simply doesn’t know about time, and smiles and hugs. He doesn’t know what respect is. He likes power. He’s an adult male so he must have power and no one can tell him otherwise. The demon rules him. The human and fatherly side of him is vulnerable and tender. When the demon gets even a whiff of that, he shuts that thing down immediately.

bruce doesn’t know what respect is, because he’s never been respected. Hurt people hurt people. But he doesn’t even understand that this treatment is wrong. Can he learn? no. he’s not willing to be vulnerable.

It’s all because he had weak parents and no strong relationships in his life. He can’t reciprocate. He can’t give. He is unable and that’s all there is to it.

I drown. I am not perfect. I am not what I could be. I am his mistake. I am the ONLY mistake that he can’t ignore or pass blame. I am also not male, but that’s beside the point. I’m still here. If I died, I would have been ignored and forgotten like any other mistake. He would have taken mom out to dinner and buy her something nice, maybe a trip, but then I’d be not worth thinking about because it makes him vulnerable. His life would have went along perfectly if I had died. He doesn’t grieve. He doesn’t admit. He feels nothing. The word “love” means nothing to him.

There’s nothing but anger and bitterness in him. The demon has left no room for the human to survive.

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