Alright, guys. I need help here.
The question: Should I quit this program?
Cons: Read my posts. I can’t stand the people here. I have a big issue with safety. The way they are dealing with this is by not letting me out. That teaches nothing.
Well, if I quit, then, no driving. How much do driving lessons cost? I would be driving today if I hadn’t lost my contact this morning.
I really don’t know. Tony was thrown out because he was throwing furniture. But I also heard that he was having sex. but the furniture sounds more likely. Sam quit because of the drama. I do really want to drive. and the instructor is fantastic. but…that is the only pro. Also if I quit, what am I going to do to fill my time?? Obviously, I can’t use this program for a job reference. I don’t want to anyway. I’ll be stuck in the same situation I was before. I would so love to drive. I can get lessons. But that’ll cost money and then I’ll have to burden mom with going back and forth for it. I could just stay here. because of John. But 3 months of not being allowed out alone?? and I’m not even sure if my finishing date will be in March. By then, I’ll be here a full year.
Every person on the staff and I agree that I shouldn’t be out alone. They won’t let me out until I can say I’m ok and also prove it. The thing is I can say it’s ok over and over, but can I do it?
I just…don’t know what to do. Quitting=no driving. staying=them. If I drive, that would be so awesome.
I just wish that this safety thing was easier. Like everyone who uses this or that word or expression or whatever would be a bad one. But no. That’s not how it works. But if anyone starts touching me before we’ve even left the place is bad, gotta remember that one. god, what am i gonna do, guys? please, please send me advice on how to deal with stranger danger. I beg you. These people obviously aren’t doing shit for that issue. I don’t want to be watched all the time because I threw away an opportunity. But I can’t stand it here!!! and they’re not doing shit for the biggest problem I have which is really fucking serious.
Ok.. Rule 1. No one can touch me unless I know them. Rule 2. Always leave with the person I came with. Even if it’s alone.
Right? Those are good, aren’t they?
But what if I get another creepy dude that comes up and says, “wanna fuck?” i guess…no and….go away…right??? but what if they don’t stop? then what? well, then I’m allowed to scream and bite and kick, right? I can be viscous.
What if someone is nice and charming but is bad? then what do i do?? I’m so scared, but I want to live alone with some form of protection; a dog, a man, friend or self defense. oooowhat if the person has a gun or knife? and I don’t even eat and shower every day. How the hell does anyone expect me to practice on my own? what am I gonna do? Defense is all well and good, but if I don’t pull it out at the correct moment then…and if I do, but it doesn’t work or if I’m surrounded by bad people and no one will come to help me?
Ok ok. Calm down Sarah. But if I see a friendship or situation turning sour, then what do i do?
See now? Those are the things I need work on.
Just don’t put yourself in those situations. It’s easier said, then done. If it starts going sour, what do i do? I just know I’m a target.