thinking about my future

Hmm…I wonder if I could be a personal trainer…or just …some kind of trainer. I think I could.

I made a vow. To be as fit as I can be. Always. Obviously, that sounds hard. But I feel like a big blob of disgusting. I dun like it.

In 14 days, I’m gonna have to go back to nasty food and people I can’t deal with. All to learn to drive.

I am going to make these last two weeks worth it. I am going to make some of those Pintrest crafts. I will, I will.

My trainer gave me a list of things I can do there and at home. I thought jumping jacks were just for the heart rate.

Jacks….my boy…..T_T.  I need things in my life besides Gaiaonline and this stupid computer. Ugg!!

When I do get to a point in life where I can live alone, I want to live in a place with lots of beautiful hikes, so I can take Stanley. But, god damn it, that doesn’t look likely almost ever. wah. I’ve been living there since March, and they haven’t got me a specialist OR done any major safety work on me. My disappointment grows. Keeping me indoors always doesn’t teach anything. If you want me to learn it, then TEACH it damnit!!! That’s what I came for. It’s infuriating. I’ll complain to my counselor. Maybe she’ll get their fucking attention.

A fitness trainer would be cool. I can see me doing that. I can see me being a martial arts instructor too. I don’t see anything that would really hinder those things. School, of course. cuz “if you don’t go to college, you’re not worth being paid.” stupid. ……………Just working with the body. I can do that.

I need to find some like fairs or fun stuff to go to. Once I drive, that would rock. I could do a craft fair. I can make a whole garden of origami and paper flowers and little birds and bugs and bunnies……..but that wouldn’t make any money, would it?  Hmmm….I wonder if I can get a giant paper and just make an enormous dinosaur. That would be awesome! lol. or dragon. hehe. so many giant paper things….hehehe. ahhhh…….fuck. WHAT. AM. I. GOING. TO DO. FOR. MONEY??????????????????????????????? aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg.

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