i miss karate.

I’m surrounded by people not above the knowledge or maturity of fifth grader. Only a few are above or anywhere near my level. This would frustrate anyone, I think. But me, more, because of the simple fact that I have a TBI. Abrupt anger and my emotional crap. Fuuuun.

I drove today. I freaked out, over reacted and froze up. Afterwards, I cried. I may never be able to drive based on how I’ve done. I need my Stanley. >< He’s never sad. Just feeling very down about it.

Danielle’s got a set exit date now. She’s all hyper about it. It makes sense, but the only adult who is not staff is leaving me. Of course, my exit date is in about a month anyway. But I’m really scared. She’s my sanity. They’ll be like, “Oh, you only have __ weeks left.” Um…yea. You must at least have an inkling of what I go through every day. I’m surrounded by triggers, fools and fuel. Danielle and I will keep in contact, of course. But once our lives really get going, then what? Her dad says I can move in with Stanley. I’ll have to check out the city first. but we may be housemates. mom also would need to know.

God, what the hell am I gonna do? I need therapy. I want my mommy. T_T Here’s another reason I want friends.

Brad has a crush on me. That’s clear. He has a girlfriend though. Does that stop him? Nope. It began cute, but now it’s just annoying. And I can’t be my normal self because then he’ll be all hurt and avoid me. And I’ll get all sorts of lectures. Jesus.  Being hit really sounds good right now. I’m listening to Hit Me by Klaypex. It’s Techno and keeps repeating “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.” from Fight Club.  god, karate, i miss you.

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