death

Well, I did promise a post on death.

Now, this may trigger some people. I’m not as sensitive as most to this.

Wanna say we go to “a better place” or the afterlife? Go ahead. I have no issue with that. But that’s not what I think. I think when you’re dead, you’re dead. That’s it. Dead=the opposite of alive and therefore unable to give a shit.

Ghosts? Yea, sure. I’m not gonna say I don’t think they are real, because I did see one when I was 13 or 14 but not since then. It was very fleeting but I remember it well. Plus I’ve been hearing things all my life. Just recently, I heard my name quite clearly. No one was there.  Clearly, these voices or spirits mean no harm to me.

If ghosts are real, I think they’re only …real for a short time. I have been hearing a radio when I try to sleep as if it’s far away. It’s just mumbles and such, but I can hear it. This has been going on since we moved in, 5 years ago. It’s strange, because outside of the crawlspace, there’s nothing. It’s always from the same direction.

Why is it rude to state something like this around someone who is or has someone in their life that’s dying?? I don’t understand why that’s insensitive. I like to state things for what they are. What’s wrong with that? They are going to die. That’s it. There’s no way to sugar coat it. Why not face things for what they are?? If you don’t, it’s just gonna make it so much harder for you when you do come to terms with it. There’s no denying the fact. What’s wrong with stating it? Why is it the “pink elephant”? People’s sensitivities make no sense to me. What the hell makes it so wrong to talk about?

And why do people even apologize for a death?? They didn’t directly cause it. If it’s unexpected, then, yea, I get it. But when it is expected?? why is an apology necessary? I didn’t do shit, why am I apologizing?? Because this person isn’t there anymore? “I’m sorry they’re dead, even though I had nothing to do with it”??? How does that make sense?

“I’m sorry this person isn’t here anymore. That sucks.” It does suck, but if I didn’t do anything, why am I apologizing?? You need to apologize when you do something wrong. I had nothing to do with this happening.

When my grandma died, I was excited because she was in such horrid pain. She was like a balloon because she couldn’t pee anymore. I was happy.

if a death, is fully expected, then….why am i supposed to be sad?  How people deal with death is super confusing to me. Yea. I’m sad she can’t teach me to preserve jam, and I miss her breakfasts…but….it makes no sense. I don’t understand. Take what time you need to calm down after a death, but….if…someone mentions grandma…don’t break down. When her birthday comes around again, you can be quiet or remember or whatever, but…don’t be dramatic and ridiculous about it. Have your moment and cry or whatever you do, and get back to life.

Mom’s boyfriend, Bob, is so stuck on his ex wife who died of cancer 10+ years ago. I understand she was important in your life, Bob, but… He can’t move on and that’s when I think people are just being stupid.  But I’m not allowed to say anything because it’s “rude” and “insensitive”. It’ss not like she died yesterday!! I understand people need time,…but it’s been 10 years, dude.

I almost died before I was even aware of being alive, ok? That’s kindof why I see the topic of death differently.

If mom died, I don’t know what I would do. But she’s not stupid or unhealthy, so it’s not going to happen soon. If it does, then….I’ll just deal with it when it comes.

I decided long ago that when dad dies, I will not attend the funeral. I wonder if I should tell my sisters that.

Dude. -.-

When you are dead, you are unable to give a shit about who comes to your funeral.

He’s not coming to my wedding either. My wedding is my day, and I get to choose who comes to see me wed. If something upsets you about MY day, then don’t come. You are invited, of course. But it is your choice to either come or not. My choice was to invite you. We still love each other, but it is your choice.

I think I’m done now. Ask for more explaining if you wish.

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2 thoughts on “death

  1. stephypowers

    You don’t have to explain why you have an opinion on death that might be different than others. I’m iffy about the whole afterlife thing. I mean even if ghosts are real and forever after you die you are no longer you. Let me see if I can word that better. I believe in ghosts. I have for a very long time. I have seen a lot of things in my life. I apologize after someone losses someone close to them because I feel bad that they are in pain over it.
    Oh and the marriage thing, my mom and bio dad are not invited at all. I wish I could have my step dad come, but it probably won’t be possible. Lol I’ve been engaged for 5 years now and I don’t even have a date set.

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    1. stephypowers

      Yay adhd. I was trying to think of a way to word it better, but got side tracked.
      Like your energy is who you are. When you die that energy becomes stagnant and disappears over time unless it’s powered by an exact location’s energy.

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